How do you top last season's offense?

"We're getting spreadier," said Missouri head football coach Gary Pinkel.

"We'll be taking our entire 11 players and putting them on either sideline, leaving a giant gap in the middle, so we'll be able to play the ball up the middle, so I guess we'll need players in the middle, but they'll be way spread out, so we'll probably keep some players in the middle and then leave players way out on the sidelines. What was the question?"

Coach Gary Pinkel expects to use the entire field to make the defense follow them around.

We'll be running all over the place here and there, around there and over here and we'll just run the whole field and try and stay within the boundaries, but all over. We'll use some parts of the field that doesn't yet exist. We'll find it and use it. It's the undiscovered world. We'll discover it and then run and pass all over that place."

Finding undiscovered parts of the field?

"That's correct. We have some innovative new things in our offense. It's never been seen. It exploits some dimensional aspects like time and space."

So, the Tigers are time travelers?

"More like phantom alien ghost mystery spy dust bunnies. We're here, but we're not here. We're over there, but we're not. We're turning the gridiron into 7 dimensions, like that chess board on Star Trek, but more dimensions."

I'm looking forward to it.