What a night. It all started normally enough with a nice meal and a beer. As game time neared, the kids got ready for bed and we settled in on the couch and watched the game. The Beaks took most of the drama out of it, so I flipped back and forth between the game and some real drama (Deal or No Deal). Late in the game in order to avoid hearing that chant, I came up with a great plan to reward my wife for taking care of bed time, reading stories to the kids, etc. It was a fateful decision.

"Hey, let's watch something. How about that dvd series you got...that period piece?"

"Uh, Pride and Prejudice?"

"Yeah! You love that!"

The next 30 minutes I descended into hell. This isn't a movie men should be near. Men shouldn't even be in it. The dvd set itself comes with a box of tea and tea cups.

It's all about this Mr. Darcy guy. He's moody and has dark eyes. There was one point where I thought he was okay. "Mr. Darcy, be fastidious and have a dance with that handsome woman!"

"Mr. Bingly, it is a rare moment that I partake in a dance."

Hell yeah, Darcy. Look at those guys prancing around like leprechauns. Don't do it.

But the rest of the parts that we watched were just Darcy over acting with his smoldering eyes look. "I shall not dance!" followed by women squirming at his defiance. "Oooo, Mr. Darcy..."

After 20 minutes, I prayed for death. When it didn't come, I fantasized about hanging myself, but decided that a quick hanging was insufficient punishment for what I was putting myself through.

In the end, I fake snored until mercifully the tv clicked off. For this horror, I will never forgive KU for ruining a perfectly good Iam4Mizzou Eve.