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Longest Record: Current clock!

Previous Longest record:
2 days, 16 hours, 12 seconds set January 25 - 27, 2016.

Shortest record: 4 hours set on January 27, 2016 from the time defensive line coach Chris Wilson quit almost immediately after accepting the position and former president Tim Wolfe's cringworthy email begging for support and airing dirty laundry to Mizzou losing to Kentucky by 34

Most recent activity: Ole Miss beat Mizzou at Mizzou without their best player (keep in mind the best player on Ole Miss is like the best player on KU's football team), but that wasn't enough to reset the clock.

A prized recruit went missing on signing day. Turns out he was in jail. No clock reset.

There was another bursting in to a meeting to the shock and disbelief of the Mizzou administrative brain trust who had no strategy to manage the situation, but that didn't reset the clock.

Now two Mizzou basketball players were arrested for drug paraphernalia.

Keep in mind this all happened since two days ago when I thought it was safe to remove the clock having smashed the previous record of 2 days, 16 hours by about three hours without Mizzou being in the news for something embarrassing.

I have decided to rebrand the clock as a MOTIVATIONAL CLOCK. The intention of the clock is to encourage Missouri administrators, students, student athletes and student groups to reach for new heights. The use of the MOTIVATIONAL CLOCK is similar to techniques used to quit smoking, lose weight, stretch days between drug use, major felonies, minor felonies, jumping jack personal best, etc.

Goal setting is important in life. Any time any of the aforementioned Tigers are jonesing, are reaching for a placard, driving slowly by convenience stores, watching a 70s miniseries with their girlfriend, driving an ATV, a scooter, entering a girlfriend's apartment if the doorway is obstructed by said girlfriend's roommate, etc., they should first check this site.


  • SILVER: Make it three days

  • Gold: Make it seven days

  • Platinum: Make it fifteen days!!
  • Current level: SILVER!!!!!

Previous activity: The recent statement by a name-not-mentioned student group was probably worth a clock reset not because of another round of rhetoric toward Mizzou that would make Kim Jong-un blush (those crazy college kids), but because of the complete lack of response by any leadership at Mizzou to a student organization that defends physical intimidation of the press and calls the punishment of such behavior "social and political violence". No, that was pretty bad. Kudos for punishing bad behavior, but threats of violence and continued intimidation have no place in a civilized society and certainly not in a place of higher learning.

BUT HOLY HELL, getting blown out at home to Mississippi State?! This basketball program is firmly attached deep in the rectum of the Earth like a polyp. It needs an enema. The standing record remains unchallenged. Up next: national signing day February 3rd. Unless something happens in the next couple of days.

Maty Mauk was dismissed which is the morning after Mizzou getting drubbed by Kentucky and about a day after Wolfe's email and Wilson's sudden resignation. Mauk nearly writing a letter in crayon somehow made it that much worse.

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